Monday, May 31, 2010


We are fascinated by prophecy. One of the challenges about communicating visions from within one Age to another not yet come, or receiving visions from a past Age for the one we are now in, is language. If we take the language too literally we may sometimes miss the obvious. We are told somewhere for example that when we approach our point of evolution - the make or break moment for our species - that we shall see 'lights in the sky'. I wonder if this points to the possible increasing pulse of The Northern Lights from solar activity as we now head toward what is predicted to be an unprecedented solar maximum peaking in 2012. It is likely we shall see The Northern Lights stretching way beyond their normal territories, especially if we have the type of solar activity NASA has predicted. This will surely light up our skies. I wonder too about the prophecy somewhere that 'the seas will turn to blood'. I wonder about this as I look at the TV images of the color of the oil-covered ocean in The Gulf.

I wonder if I can recognize the signs within my own personal experience - and if I have the will and capacity to respond by getting my own Temple in order.

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Sometimes the sprouting seeds of a new creation are obscured by our still focusing on what we want - on what we thought was supposed to happen to bring us into the future we hoped was manifesting. Yet, when we stop and enter the moment, and allow what is happening right now to speak to us nakedly, without our wantings attached to it, we may feel the sprouting possibilities arising all around us. Remember that many people, events, and precious moments come to us only for a brief moment in time, to be as bridges from the tired and worn into the rediscovered and reborn. A bridge is only fully seen and appreciated when we have allowed it to carry us safely across. We become attached to the bridge because it carries us above the turbulent waters - but we must let go of it so that we may enter the quiet and peaceful fields where the seeds of a new creation sprout. These new seeds await our gentle tending. We are their bridges.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Sometimes an experience confronts us which appears as a 'T' junction - as a point seemingly requiring decision between 'this or that'. Sometimes it is impossible to choose, because either choice appears to have fallout. One feels 'torn'.

In moments like these there is a beauty in sitting within the energetic experience of seemingly 'being pulled apart' - of seemingly 'being pulled in two opposite directions'.

Often we discover that it is more a case that we 'think we have to make a choice', than that a choice is actually required in the moment. We may discover that our feeling the need to make an immediate choice is simply a disguised means to bring an immediate end the uncomfortable sensation of being plied open.

There is an alchemical beauty in remaining in the midst of this seeming inner turmoil without actually 'making a choice' - especially when an immediate choice is not really required. Instead of using 'a decision' as a means to alleviate inner discomfort, we instead sit in the midst of the experience and allow the uncomfortable felt-texture time to digest.

Digestion of the felt-experience brings nutrition that energizes clear insight. Only then is any action we take or choice we make a response, as opposed to a reaction.

When we allow this felt-discomfort to digest, we discover that the T-junction actually becomes a profound crossroad.

Monday, May 10, 2010


It’s funny how we have mirrors in the bathroom - a place where we cleanse. Mostly we use a mirror to engage with the physical surface of our human experience.

It was a great day when I realized that a mirror has many applications - other than checking the condition of the face. One of my insights about this came about through a realization that there are many aspects to the expression of my experience in this world. I discuss this as 'the C.A.S.T.' in Being Our Companion - which is available as a Free Download on The Presence Portal.

As well as realizing that there are many facets to my capacity to express an experience in this world - I also realized that when I am about to initiate something important in my life, I often tell everyone about it - except me. I call upon the support of the world but I forget to ask the many aspects of my expression to support a cohesive, unified intent.

What I also realized, through hindsight, is that often I experience self-sabotage within my experience because the different aspects of my expression appear to have conflicting intent. I was pleasantly surprised to discover how simple it is to combine my inner resources into one cohesive flow is.

For example, I am now currently preparing for a trip. This requires jumping on and off planes, moving through all sorts of infrastructure, meeting a whole range of new people, sharing personal insight, etc. Of course I discuss this upcoming journey with others - which is part of this experience - but now I also make sure I go to the mirror and say something like:

"Hey everybody - we are off on a journey together. I would love for you all to come along and participate in this experience. I know you all have something to add to and receive from it. My overall intent in entering this experience is ... I am inviting you to support this so we all have a wonderful time. Thank you. Onward!"

I was initially surprised when I first applied this how individuals, events, and circumstances unfolded in a miraculous way to support and not sabotage. It awakens tangible synchronicity. I now realize that when I only rely on what I perceive upon the surface of things for assistance, that I am unnecessarily limiting possibility.

I now know that talking to my posse in the mirror about what I am currently up to is a vital step to seeding success for any intent - and I am grateful for this awareness.

Sunday, May 9, 2010


Yesterday I received a visit from Oom [Uncle] Johannes, a Medicine Man whose calling is the use of wild herbs, and his apprentice, Antoinette Pienaar. In time I will share more about my encounters with these two wonderful human beings.

While we sat in the garden drinking tea, Oom Johannes was admiring the manner of the cats as they prowled about the cactus. Then he told us a story about something that happened when he used to be a farm laborer. He speaks only in Afrikaans - so this is a translation:

"One day the boss called me and said I must grab a sack from the shed. I took it to him and he filled it with the kittens from a litter this beautiful cat had had a few weeks back. I watched him as he then threw the sack into the water tank. He then turned to me and said that when they stop struggling I must bury them. I told him 'No'. I told him what he had done was a terrible thing, and that he must complete the task. He became angry. I told him that what was really terrible was that he did not even know he has just attacked his own Soul. He got angry with me because I would not obey him. But I didn't care, I was not going to join him in his madness. I then told him his behavior was a prayer to God for help. I said that in a short time from now God was going to help him because he was hurting himself and he didn't even know it."

Oom Johannes said a couple of months passed and one day he walked passed the porch and saw the farmer crumpled in a chair like a broken pile of sticks, sobbing like an abandoned child.

"I asked him what was wrong. He looked up at me with great pain in his eyes. 'Both my sons have just been killed in a car accident...' he sobbed. Well, I looked at him straight in his eyes and said: 'God has answered your prayer Mister.' He looked at me in shock and asked how I could say such a thing? I told him that he now felt exactly what the mother cat felt - and that his sons had received the same experience he had forced upon the kittens. I told him this was God's way of helping him to feel. I told him what makes us foolish is not a lack of brains, it being unable to feel what it is we are doing. I told him God is going to help us all feel so we can stop behaving like fools."

Saturday, May 8, 2010


There was a time in my life when I assumed I had to take drastic measures to initiate a powerful cleansing within my experience - like fasting for days - or installing some rigorous practice in my daily experience, or something like this. I assumed I had to add something to my experience to cleanse something from it.

This was until life put me through experiences in which routines I followed daily were suddenly removed and I was faced with points of emptiness that had otherwise been filled with supposedly necessary 'spiritual activity'. I then went through a period in my life when I examined the routines that made up my day and asked myself: "Are these indeed 'route ins' - or are they carefully placed, disguised escape hatches used to hide any empty space in my day?"

This was when I discovered that even the seemingly most noble activities, like meditation, following 'a correct diet', and reading some inspiring literature each day, could be used as escape routes from the moment. I realized how I can use my most trusted spiritual practices and disciplines as reactivity - as a means to cover up emptiness, stillness, silence, and simply being with what is.

Then I went through a period in my life when I deliberately removed activities that I had assumed essential for my so called 'spiritual wellbeing' - just to see what happened. This was hard initially. I felt guilty. I deliberately stopped practices I had been devoted to for many years. In stopping my daily engagement with these I discovered that some of these activities also had attached emotional signatures, and their associated belief systems, that were fear-driven.

Do I become 'a bad person' if I do not meditate every day? Do I feel guilty if I do not go to my weekly yoga practice? Am I judging my spiritual status by the activities I engage in?

I have discovered that any activity in my life that I have entered that was initially born out of a reaction to inner suffering must be examined in this way. Initially, they enable me to become more aware and find a sense of balance, but if I begin to rely upon them - instead of my inner resources - like a child's security blanket - as the means by which I keep feeling okay - they can also become an anchor holding me fast in an energetic cul-de-sac.

There is a point in our journey when responding as consciously to the felt-resonances of the moment we are in becomes powerful enough. Then we engage in our practices from this point - as opposed to scheduling them religiously throughout our day or week regardless of what is unfolding.

Examining the intent of our daily routines - by sometimes removing them from our experience for a period - and then experiencing 'how we feel about this' when we do - often opens the door to powerful emotional cleansing.

Friday, May 7, 2010


In February this year I had an experience which once again illustrated the limitations of functioning primarily from the head - or from the mental body, as I like to call it. I was going about my day doing my thing when suddenly the entire resonance of my experience shifted. Here in Aberdeen it was extremely hot, dry, and dusty. Yet my senses appeared to tune into a completely different environment. I felt like I was in a sub-tropical, temperate, moistened, lush, green, fertile atmosphere - the kind of place one would associate with a paradise island getaway. Not only did I experience this as a distinct physical location, but my entire mood shifted into a feeling of complete peace, expansion, freedom and radiating joyfulness. It was such a sudden shift that I was swept away by it for a few moments - my whole being sighed, "Ahhhhh - this is it!"

Then, as swiftly as it had unfolded, it evaporated, or dissolved, or withdrew. I sat on the couch, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Was it a memory? I noticed that when I asked this question my thoughts and visualizations searched for a reference point, and eventually took me directly to a time in Mexico when I had lived as close to a paradise-type lifestyle as I have yet come. Was I remembering this? I must be, I told myself.

But as much as my mental body grasped for a past point of reference, another more subtle knowing kept affirming it was an event yet to be - but at the same time one already occurring. The more I entertained this idea, the more I felt sure this was indeed the case. Accordingly, my mental body then started figuring out what this meant. Is this some place I am supposed to move to? Am I going to leave Aberdeen and live closer to the coast? I knew that whatever this environment was that had whispered so clearly into my current experience felt completely aligned with my being that I absolutely had to go and live there.

For about three days I swam through the memory of this encounter. Its resonance stuck to me like honey on my skin. Suddenly Aberdeen felt inhospitable and intolerable. I started having conversations with myself, my mother and friends about leaving - about possibly moving nearer to the coast. I even thought about taking a map out to examine the South African coastline for possible locations. Not that I could afford to move mind you. Not that I had even contemplated the immensity of making such a sudden change in my life.

Then, early one morning while sitting quietly with one of the cats on my lap, I burst out laughing at my behavior. I realized yet again that there is nowhere to go and nothing to do but to meet the moment I am in right now and respond to it.

I then recalled a conversation I had once had with a wise old man in Mexico. In it he had said to me: "There are two earths you know Miguel, and this is what people living in this one do not know. There is the earth made by our madness, and there is an earth made by God. This earth made of our madness is dying, and in the next few years many are going to die with it, and many are going to shift their awareness into the other one. They will wake up there as if out of a sleep and this will all have been a strange dream. But we cannot shift to the other one by running away from this one. This one is the portal into that one. We enter that one by fully embracing the madness of this one. I am already happy with my madness, so I often walk in that other one," he smiled matter-o-factly. "Where do you think the ancient heaven is Miguel?" he asked. "Right here, right now, right in this. The portal opens right where we are when we are right where we are."

The mental body can only contemplate probability. It projects what is likely to happen based upon what has already happened. The heart however is able to contemplate possibility. The head tells me, when I have experiences like this, that there is something I need to do to make it happen - some other place I need to go.

My heart on the other hand assures me that any shift within my personal paradigm is determined by what I am being now - not what I am doing now. The heart tells me that the shift is not based solely upon what happened in the past - but on what unfolds right within the moment I am in now. The head wants to move the radio around the room to change channels. The heart knows that the tuner is always right here, right now.

The gift of that experience is the feeling it placed within my heart. Now I know what the ancient heaven feels like for me. Now I have a point of navigation. When I am truly immersed in the moment, truly here, this is what it feels like. Delicious.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


I recently recounted a story to my mother as to the likely reason I am a cat-lover. I am definitely a 'cat person' as opposed to a 'dog person'. But I am not a cat lover in that I look at pictures of cats or buy cat magazines - and I press 'delete' anytime someone emails me cute cat pictures. Let's say I appreciate my cats, and those that cross my path in the course of my daily life.

During school I was for the most part an introvert. This being Mr. Anonymous continued into my University career - but only lasted about three months. One day I was sitting in a lecture auditorium - which also doubled as a performance theatre for drama students - listening to a talk on Management of Human Recourses by the professor. There must have been about 200 students scattered throughout the seating, which rose up in front of the stage upon which his lecture podium was placed.

As we looked down upon the professor from our raised point of view, we noticed a black cat appear from the side of the stage curtain. It ambled casually onto the stage and sat down, looked around, and then began to clean itself as if no one else was in the room.

Naturally, the eyes of the entire class went to the cat. After a few moments it looked up, yawned, and languidly made its way to the side of the stage, down a set of stairs, sniffing at this and that, along the front of the stage, and then started casually strolling up the center isle. All eyes remained fixed on its progress. Some students actually starting to stand up or stretch in their seats to monitor the progress. The cat’s entire demeanor was 'cool and collected' to the point of being amusing. As it came level with the isle in which I was sitting, it made a right in my direction, walked through the legs of those sitting in the row next to me, arrived at my feet, jumped onto my lap, curled up comfortably, and promptly went to sleep. I was utterly amazed. A warm feeling washed through my entire body: I felt 'chosen'.

This was the first time in my life I felt so publically chosen by any person, event, or circumstance. Why me? Then I looked around and all eyes in the room where on me. Why him?

In that moment I went from Mr. Anonymous to 'the one the cat chose'. The cat remained coiled comfortably upon my lap almost throughout the entire lecture. Then without any warning - it stood up - stretched - hopped down, and in moments was gone from sight. From that moment onward total strangers said "Hi" when walking passed on campus - so I started doing the same.

My entire university experience changed after that. Within six months I became what was at that time the youngest Debutantes Convener in the history of the university. This meant I was in charge of a few hundred first year female students whom I had to facilitate into public fundraising activities, parties, and all sorts of social occasions. A far cry from being Mr. Anonymous.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I traced that incident as being a significant turning point in my life - a moment in which a simple experience of acknowledgement by a cat transformed my entire perception of myself and the fabric of my social reality. Since then I acknowledge cats whenever they cross my path. I appreciate the power of their loving light, and they have also taught me the appreciate the power within mine.

We have no idea how a singular unexpected moment of acknowledgment can shift reality completely for another. Acknowledgement contains the power and radiance of loving light.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


One of the issues I have had to deal with since moving here to Aberdeen is beggars at my door. There is great poverty here. At times this ongoing interaction with those who have seemingly fallen through the cracks has broken my heart, driven me to distraction, brought out violent visualizations, and caused me to simply enter long states of having a locked gate and closed door policy regardless of who knocks.

The difficulty was in the continual juggling of my stance about this - in sifting of the parasites from those really requiring assistance - in trying not to give money to those who only spend it on drinking - and generally in dealing with continually being disturbed when busy or sleeping. Then there was the problem of when giving to certain people that a whole network of parasites awakens and the banging on the door never stops. And many of these beggars have no point of reference for personal space - because they have none - so 6.30AM on a Sunday morning is the same for them as midday on a Monday. Hunger does not wear a watch.

All through this experience I accepted mentally that every encounter was 'required' - and although I got this mentally - I more than often did not embrace this emotionally. Understanding something mentally doesn't necessitate that authentic application follows. Accordingly I would do what I thought was 'the right thing' - which may entail giving the person my loaf of bread - then 5 minutes later realizing I had no bread for my own breakfast. Or, I would become so annoyed that I would give them a lecture on their complete disregard for others space - and five minutes after their departure feel like an idiot. After all ,I was talking to someone who had an empty stomach, a hangover headache, and who had definitely not slept the night on a soft mattress in a safe place. It is unlikely matters of 'personal space' are very high on their agenda.

Recently I made a conscious shift with regards my interaction with beggars. I asked for guidance about this and I received the insight. It has changed everything for me. What I saw is how I had made this issue all about them. How can I possibly begin to mentally deal with the reality of begging as a whole? Beggars are also so 'wanting' and 'needy' that it is easy to get sucked into their vortex of drama. My insight was that this is actually 'all about me' - not them. Sounds selfish doesn't it? But it is not. It is about me because that is who I am left with once they leave. They get to walk off, but I have to return to my desk or wherever in my home and spend time with the one who just got pissed off at the door!

Now, when they bang on my door, initially I do not place my attention upon them at all - and if I find myself reactively projecting - I pull the awareness right back into my own body and heart - and make sure the encounter is generated from this point of view. Nowadays it has become such a conscious practice that I do not open the door until I am fully in my body, present, and function directly out of the moment that I am in - not the one I was in when I was previously irritated - or the one I assume them to be in. If I feel I cannot show up - then I give myself permission to not open the door at all.

What I realized when I started applying this approach was that the main reason this issue had previously annoyed me so much was because every call made by beggars was a call to me to show up in the moment - with what is happening right now in this world - as opposed to what I was mentally occupied with in my manufactured world. It was a trigger awakening me to an emotional imprint related to my being overwhelmed by life because I was unable to be present enough to fully engage it. It was likely from a time when events around me as a child were so overwhelming that they sucked me into their distrubed vortex and left me a tattered shamble within mine. The actual point of imprinting does not matter - but the feeling triggered is now very obvious to me. By being able to be with this feeling, I am also able to be with unsolicited banging on my door.

I have discovered that since disciplining myself to not open the door until I am centered and grounded in the moment, that my encounter with these individuals is transformed. Even their way of engaging me is transformed. I no longer interact with them in a way intended to get rid of them, or to verbally challenge the reason for their presence on my doorstep. I have also discovered that I no longer over-give or completely dismiss - that my being absolutely present opens a middle pathway of interaction which is sensible, required, personal, and which leaves no trailing residual of emotional discomfort.

So now I no longer have beggars coming to my door - I have cleansing calls begging me to show up. A simple shift in my intent transformed what was infuriating into what is now a potential moment of increased personal possibility. If a bang on the door ends up in me being upset - that is about me - not the caller. I really am responsible for the quality of my experience. This is a relief to realize...again!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I am discovering in my life experience that the balance between 'what is not working' and 'what is clearly on a roll' is definitely shifting. The former used to far outweigh the latter. At one point I had a life almost solely made out of focusing on 'what is not working'. Then, through emotional inetgration, I realized that what is not working is simply that requiring transformation. Instead of scratching my head and trying to mentally figure out how to make work what is clearly no longer working, I am now becoming aware enough within the situation to instead ask: "What transformation does this circumstance require?" The answer seldom comes immediately - as in mentally. Days sometimes pass, and there I am involved with something else, and the insight effortless pops through. When it does it feels obvious, as if it has always been here. It feels given and received. And, it usually comes from a place of 'and' - as opposed to 'or'. It is not that 'I must now do this or that' - it is more often a case of a bridge being built between 'this AND that'. It’s a different point of view. Then what appeared dead is reborn, inspired, and soon clearly on a roll again. When I take a moment to examine my personal and world experience honestly - I find many more indicators that many inspiring circumstances are now clearly on a roll. Yes, so much still requires transformation. My intent is that all of that gets caught up in this tide of creative change and becomes infectiously swept into waves of expanding possibility.

Monday, May 3, 2010


PRIMARY INTENT: Consider that the only obstacle standing between us and the realization that 'here on earth we are already in heaven' is the current nature of our relationship with mind.

VIBRATIONAL INTENT: Trinity. Consider that mind constitutes much more than the conventional perception that it is our thinking and understanding mechanism - or merely the functioning of our physical brain. Consider that the trinity of mind is that it is all that is physical, mental, and emotional. Consider that this human world we have made upon earth is a manifestation of mind projected in 3D - a projected manifestation that we live in, walk through, and mistakenly identify with. Consider also that what we are is not mind, that mind is a tool through which what we are compiles and engages with experience. Consider now the expression - "When we do not mind, it does not matter."

HEART INTENT: Consider that one of the causal points of our not seeing Earth as holy, and our not respecting, loving and cherishing Her accordingly, is the religious indoctrination leading us to believe that heaven is a place we only go to after death. Consider the physical, mental, and emotional pollution caused by this teaching.


Due to a power outage I was unable to access the computer for placing yesterday's intent. It was ACTION and WISDOM. Accordingly, as I was unable to do anything on this blog, my intent was - "Having the wisdom to actively be with what is."

Saturday, May 1, 2010


PRIMARY INTENT: While many in the world may assume the 2012 portal is a moment in which something terrible happens to us, let us consider the possibility that it is actually a pre-determined moment upon our current timeline - like an upcoming universal live concert - in which we are invited to consciously broadcast what is most glorious about our humanity. Consider this as something that happens through us - not to us.

VIBRATIONAL INTENT: Celebration. When we place our felt-awareness upon 22 December 2012 - how do we envision our experience? Are we hiding in a bunker or are we dancing to the most ecstatic live performance we have ever experienced? Are we contracted and trembling or are we openly vibrating? Are we mourning or are we celebrating?

HEART INTENT: Communion. Consider the possibility of a common heart-experience being triggered within every human that unifies our awareness in such a sacred way that the idea of having borders between countries becomes humorously ridiculous. What would such a communion event feel like within our own heart? Are we open to receiving this? Are we willing to contain such a possibility?